Oh my goodness. I lost my writing mojo!
That is scary. I really have enjoyed my blogging and writing on my book. And all of a sudden, for the past week or two, it has just disappeared!
I know what you will all think when I tell you what I'm about to tell you, but I swear, it has nothing to do with it. And since I've probably confused you all with that last sentence I just wrote, let me just blurt it out and then I'll explain.
I was not one of the writers chosen as a finalist for the unpublished novel contest I entered and told you all about a while back.
And so I bet you think that's why I lost my mojo. But it's not true, I promise. I knew I wouldn't win that contest at all. Because remember? I decided that my first effort at writing was trash. And that's OK. My second attempt is fun, but I am starting to think it might not be so great either. Why, you ask?
Well I've been paying closer attention to the books I enjoy reading, and since I like reading them, they would also be the type I'd like to write. I figure that's natural, right? But I have noticed things about these books that I don't have in my own. I really write quite a bit of dialogue. I don't spend as much time inside the person's head I'm writing about. Examining it and putting it to paper.
I also don't do a whole lot of describing places and items and moods, etc. So I realize I have some work to do on that front. I am sure some writing workshops would help, or maybe a writing class at VCU or something. But I don't know that, that is possible right now.
Does it mean I'm going to stop writing? Gosh I hope not.
When I first started writing this blog, and then my first book attempt, I didn't care about how many people followed it or anything. It was just a place to write down whatever I wanted to write, and the heck with the rest of the world.
Then I started looking at how many "hits" I was getting a day. And that was fun. And it made me want to do more. So I started writing funnier posts. (Well I thought they were funny, anyway.) And I have gotten some of my all-time highest months of hits as a result. Good, right? Sure. But as time has gone on, I've realized that although I like writing humorous posts, it's not the only thing I have to write about. Then I started obsessing about it because I really like getting a lot of hits and getting more and more people to read my blog. And so if I can't think of anything funny to write, then I don't write anything. Which means sometimes, the blog just sits there. And if it were cheese, it would get moldy. And that's just gross.
So although I might end up seeing my "popularity" drop (Bahahahahahahaha!!!!), I am going to try really super hard to go back to what I want to write about. So if it's funny one day, cool. If it's not funny another day, well - tough tookies, peeps. It's my freakin' blog anyway!
I couldn't figure out why I was uninspired, and when I sat down today, I actually hadn't planned on writing anything. I was just going to go back and look at some old posts and stuff. But then this just kind of happened - you know, crap just spilling out of my fingers and showing up on the computer screen. So I guess I had it on my mind and didn't even know it. I'm glad I'm getting it out of my brain, because even though I didn't realize it was in there, it certainly must have been taking up some kind of precious real estate in there. Unfortunately, most of the time, my brain is full of stuff like this. Kind of like an "as is" property. Better off just demolishing it and starting over with an empty lot. My husband would say my whole brain is actually usually an empty lot. I bet this is making absolutely no sense to you all, but it's pretty funny to me right now. (And probably not to my husband. But for entirely different reasons.)
So I am going to try for this month not to worry about whether I topped last month. It's been stressing me out, to be honest. And I'm going to try to just enjoy what I'm writing about. And then maybe look around for a writing workshop or something to attend. Because even though I'm a little hazy on why this is a good idea to keep writing right now, I know it really is. So I've got to do something to keep the momentum going. And I don't want to resort to writing in the nude or anything crazy. (And believe me, if you are some kind of perv reading this right now, your mental picture of me writing naked should be enough to scare the bejesus out of you and keep you from ever clicking on my blog again. Seriously.)
Happy day, folks!