Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year's Resolutions from 2011 - This Is Precisely Why I'm Not Doing 2012 Resolutions

Yep.  So I made a big list of resolutions for 2011.  I also kept track of the dates of when I broke the resolutions so I could see how many I kept.  I think the record speaks for itself when I say that I should never try to do any New Year's Resolutions.  Ever.

New Year's Resolutions (I Am SOOO Good At Keeping These)

I, Carolyn, will now make my resolutions for the year 2011. . .

I resolve -

to go to the doctor when I'm sick. Broken 1/18/11

to be nice to Quincy and not call him a vile filthy mongrel anymore, even though he is. Broken 1/1/11

to always remember to write thank you notes as well as to always respond promptly to party invitations. Broken 5/2/11

to completely organize my entire house. I will have a place for everything. I will always remember to put things back exactly where they are. To further that effort, I resolve

to get one of those little label maker thingies. (I've always secretly wanted one, but I really just look at it as a toy.) Broken 12/31/11 (Never did get one even though I had a whole year?  SAD.)
to cut carbs completely out of my diet. Broken 1/1/11

to go to the gym five days a week. Broken 1/7/11

to pay attention to all the latest fashion trends and start buying stylish clothes. I will stop wearing my Doc Martins because they are out of style. I will also stop wearing birth control outfits. You know what I'm talking about? I have one on today. But no more! Broken 1/3/11

to purchase a lovely designer handbag. (grrrrrrrr) KEPT IT!

to write a best selling book and have it published within the year. Broken 12/31/11 :(
to always prepare and serve my family a nutritious meal made with a loving and gentle heart. And to stop serving them breakfast for dinner once a week because it's cheap and easy. Broken 1/7/11

to always share my chocolate, my ice cream, and any other treat I get with my son and stop hoarding all the good stuff. Broken 1/2/11

to always admit to him when his MiMi and PaPa sent him that chocolate, or that cake, or that cookie and not pretend that they gave it to me. Broken 1/19/11 Don't. Judge. Me.
to not get the stomach flu even though I have a four year old who will almost certainly bring it home with him from preschool. MIRACULOUSLY KEPT IT. (Might have to keep this one after all.  Maybe that was what kept me from getting it???)
to never second guess my husband and not try to tell him how to handle our son. Broken 1/2/11

to get up every morning as soon as my son calls out and always let my husband sleep in instead of pretending I can't hear said son calling out. Broken 1/1/11 (but in my defense I was trying to wake up with a dose of Nyquil in me)

to always let my husband have the pick of what we watch on TV. Broken 1/2/11 (We started to watch Polar Express with Jman who was scared of it, and I wanted to finish watching it. Then I made him watch the end of Enchanted. HA HA HA HA!!)

to wear my tiara everywhere and only be addressed as Her Royal Highness, Princess Carolyn. If you do not address me as such, I will not answer. (Sigh. I wish I could make that one be true.) Broken 1/1/11. Sigh.

to remember not to look like an idiot when running races this year. I will have long hair, pulled back in a chic pony tail, and I will smile serenely at any Brightroom photographer I pass this year. Broken 11/12/11 See here for proof.
to learn how to decorate my home so that it no longer looks like we live in a nursing home. Broken 12/31/11  It's as bad as my BC outfits. . .
to dust the house at least twice this year. Broken 12/31/11 In my defense, dusting is BORING.
to stop looking at the vacuum cleaner as though I think it must be some kind of home improvement tool and make my husband use it because I don't understand how it works. Broken 1/2/11

to not have my son sit in front of the TV all day for a whole week so that mommy can work on the computer when I am really writing my book. (oopsie.) Broken 4/11/11

to keep up with the laundry in almost an OCD fashion instead of letting it pile up so high that we have to have a jammie day in the middle of the week. Because I now know it is embarrassing for my husband and son to show up at work and school that way. Broken 1/15/11

So let's see.  I had a total of 23 resolutions.  Aaaaaaannnnnnd, I kept - 2.  OK then. 

Happy Day, folks!

1 comment:

  1. My only resolution was to answer the phone instead of leaving it to the answering machine so that I don't have to talk to anyone.
    I didn't even make it to noon.


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