I'm Going to be FREAKING RICH!!! Let My Endorsement Deals - BEGIN!!!!!!

I just knew someone would see my talent for what it is.  I got this really fabulous email yesterday.

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To: carolynsfamilyblog@hotmail.com
Subject: Question for Models and Super Models
carolynsfamilyblog@hotmail.com
From: bernard@leadnetmasterpro.com

Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2011 19:00:07 -0600

Hello,

I was doing a search for people who are Models and Super Models on Yahoo and I came across your information. I would like to know if you would be interested in an opportunity to endorse a New Revolutionary skin care product that's looking for models and beauty consultants to try out the product.

It's a very lucrative business opportunity and the actual product is giving ppl instant results. For info on the product, opportunity and to try free samples respond to this email to receive more info on this opportunity!

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from u!

 Bernard
Add me on

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I know, totally exciting, right?  First of all, please take notice of the Subject Line. (I'll wait while you ooh and ahh, and nod your head knowingly about me and this statement obviously going hand in hand.) K.  And second of all, I was super duper excited because it is my first offer to try out and endorse a product!  WOOT! WOOT!

So of course, I had to write them back.  This was my response. . .

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That'd be totally awesome! I am practically a super model, so I am used to free stuff.


Thanks for looking me up.

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Yessiree, they were totally going to hook me up.  Then I got this email:

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Hi ,

Thanks for responding to my email. Here's the info about the product that
I wanted to share with u aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and watch the 30
min presentation about The Bellamora Opportunity, this will explain the
science behind the product and the unique story behind it aswell. I
would like ur feedback on it.

If u have any more questions feel free to contact me, I also would like
to share my story with u with the product


Bernard
860-514-4424
skype: bernard.

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What?  Seriously?  I am busy and practically a super-model, aren't I?  Why do I have to watch 30 minutes of anything?  Don't they know I'm so very busy being all beautiful and everything?  But then I thought that maybe they might be wanting to show me my endorsement deal that way.  You know.  Visual.  Because I don't know how many super-models can actually read.  (Sorry super-models.  But you know what I just said was meant to be funny.  In jest.  Maybe.)  So I watched it just long enough to know that it, in fact, was not about my endorsement deal.  Instead, they were telling me that their company is a unique business opportunity for lots of those unemployed people (OK, and I'm unemployed.  But I'm busy being a mom.  So technically, that term doesn't apply to me.)  I am pretty sure it was their way of reassuring me that they are working to get the word out about their stuff, and that I would be getting bigger endorsement deals with them in the future just as soon as their products start selling world-wide, like freaking gangbusters!  So I responded with this, to let them know that I really am totally on board with being their spokesperson.

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Wow, that's a really powerful presentation. I am glad that there are going to be lots of people out there getting jobs and spreading the word about Bellamora. Super cool.

But since you think I'm, like, supermodel material and all, I am sure I'd be a great spokesperson for the product. Will I get like endorsement dollars by representing your stuff? Obviously, I'm not an A list celebrity or anything, so my terms are negotiable. My first figure that kind of popped in my head was $1,000 a month. In one dollar bills. (I like cash.)

And do I get a welcome basket with expensive designer sunglasses and bags and iphones/ipads and stuff? You know, because all the celebrities get those baskets at awards ceremonies and stuff. So I figure that I should be wooed to represent your company and everything just like they are.

Let me know what kinds of stuff you'll include in my welcome basket, and then we can set the terms of what you want me to do. I wish I could say that your peeps can call my peeps, but the only peeps I have are my husband and my son. And I want to surprise my husband with my new endorsement deal, and I don't think my son would be a good negotiator, because he's still in preschool. So just have your peeps contact me. Unless you want to throw in a peep for me as part of the deal? You know, like a personal assistant? Let me know what you think of that. K? Thx.

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I cannot wait to hear their response.  I'm sure it's coming any minute.  I'll let you know as soon as I get my first endorsement cash from my blog.  (You know, $1,000 in one dollar bills.  Because I like cash.  Although that amount might be more if they think I'm worth it.  I mean, I am practically a supermodel.)  Aren't you excited for me?

In other news, tomorrow's post will be about how my family used to like to make telemarketers lives a living hell.  But we, on the other hand, would love every minute of those calls.  (No.  I'm really serious.  That's what I'm writing about tomorrow.)  And do you all remember telemarketers?  I kind of miss those days.  You'll see why tomorrow.  ;)

Love,

Your Supermodel Blogging Princess Friend 

Happy Day!

PS - I just came back and got all OCD because my first two asterisk breaks only had six asterisks and the rest had seven and I had to fix it.  You don't think they'll hold that against me do you?  I mean if anything, it should show I am dedicated to like, asterisks.

Update - 3:29pm

I heard back from them!  So excited to share with you -  of course, they want to negotiate.  So here's what they said:

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Carolyn, u gotta be kidding me! I've brought in Models and Beauticians in
this business that are very excited about the product and opportunity and
will build huge teams in their respective areas and your taking this
opportunity as a joke.

The way it works is if you're interested in the opportunity then u would
join and become a Bellamora Rep and u will make a lot more than just $1000
a month and it won't take that many ppl to make over $1000 a month that u
were asking for to begin with.

Let me know if you're serious about this opportunity, u obviously liked
the presentation and this is a ground floor opportunity that u would wanna
take advantage of !

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And here's what I said:

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No no no. I am totally taking this seriously! You said you wanted me to endorse your products, and I am so up for that! In fact, I can't wait to get started! So if my $1000 is too much as a starting monthly endorsement amount, I'm totally and absolutely willing to negotiate. How about $800? Still in one dollar bills though, because don't forget - I like cash.

And I was going to try to negotiate an iPad for my friend who wanted to be my official photographer, but I can drop that as part of the deal. I have other people who are wanting to be included in my peeps and I don't think I have to get them iPads for that to happen. But I still want one in my welcome basket. K?



So just let me know. Can't wait to hear from you!!!!



Thx!

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Good response, right?  Notice I only went down $200 a month.  I don't want to let them know that my rock bottom price is $10 a month.  But either way, I still want it in one dollar bills.  Because I like cash.  And because I am a diva bitch who won't budge on that point.  I'm such a negotiator.  I'm glad that they wrote back.  I was afraid I might have given them sticker shock with my first offer.  But you have to set your sights high, right?  I can't wait to finish negotiations so I can start this endorsement deal up. . .

Update 4:08

OH crap.  So they saw my blog.  I don't know if it was before or after I shared with you my bottom line.  This could put a huge damper on negotiations.  Here's what they said:

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Carolyn, why did u post my email on your blog site and on your fan page??
It's not that serious! Give me a call when u get a chance

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So of course I said:

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Because I was so totally excited about this opportunity! Really! I can't wait to get started! What do you mean it's not that serious? I'm totally serious!

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And then they said this.  And this perplexed me just a bit:

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Ok, if you're serious give me a call and we'll c how serious u are

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See?  I mean, I don't see how they don't think I'm serious.  Who wouldn't want to get paid to endorse someone's product?  So I immediately wrote back.  Because I don't want to lose my first endorsement deal:

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I don't like to do business over the phone. Number 1: I have a huge phobia about phones. You know.
Germs.


Number 2: Writing is my thing. Which is why you want me to endorse your stuff, right?

Awesome. So let me know when you want to get back to negotiating!

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And then their next response really confused me:

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Well ok, not a problem. If u want to get involved in the opportunity u
know what to do ..... Invest.

If u have any questions, feel free to ask. No silly questions please!
Thank You

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WHAT?  Invest?  Since when do you have to invest in order to endorse a product?  I'm so confused, right?  Aren't you?  So this is what I said:

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I don't understand? You aren't going to have me endorse your products? No welcome basket?


 

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I'll let you know when I hear back.

Update 4:23pm

Well.  I heard back.  This is what they said:



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Endorse as in promote the product but in order to promote the product u
have to invest in the business and be a product of the product. If u can
not do that well then sorry i can not help u.

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And I said:


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Oh.  Now I'm bummed.  Thanks for considering me though.


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So I guess it's over.  I'm so bummed.  It's like that sports commercial.  The thrill of victory.  And the agony of defeat.  Plus I should have told them the door is open if they ever want to reconsider.  Dang.  I'll get better at this negotiating thing though.  This certainly won't be the last time I get an endorsement offer.  Right?  I'm gonna go stuff my face with oreos now, since I don't have to worry about my head shot photograph today.

I Think I Might Have Just Done Something Really Stupid

Of course, that's the story of my life. . .

As you all well know by now, I've been quite sick.  Like borderline pneumonia sick.  I ended up with a pretty good case of bronchitis and stuff.  So I have done almost nothing in a month.  I finally went to the doctor on Monday and got some new antibiotics.  She told me if I rested well for a couple of days to give the antibiotics a chance to kick in, I would probably feel like a new woman by the end of the week.  I gratefully took the prescription to the nearest pharmacy to fill it, because, let's face it, I was totally over being sick at this point.  I mean, a girl can only enjoy a nightly dose of NyQuil for so long, right? (speaking of, don't ever buy original flavor NyQuil, unless you want to add to your sicky symptoms.  It's liquorice flavor and totally gross.  Just sayin'.)

And I am happy to report that the doctor was correct!  By Thursday morning, I felt like a whole new person!  Well, a whole new person who still had a naggy cough.  But still, the foggy, feverish haze had finally departed my body.  I did a little housework to try and play catch up, and by yesterday evening I was worn plumb out.  And then today, I got up and I had a plan.  I had to not tell the rest of me what I was up to.  I didn't want to give me a chance to back out of my plan.  So I acted like everything was just fine and that it was another day of the same as I bundled Joshua up and drove him to preschool.  Me started realizing something was up though as I put on my clothes.  But I told me that I was just dressing comfortably, and to ignore what I was wearing.

After I dropped Joshua off at school, me started suspecting what I was up to for sure.  Because I looked down in my console to make sure I had my headphones.  And me was starting to remember hazy, distant memories of when I used to use those headphones.  And me started saying, "No.  It can't be.  She wouldn't be going there, would she?"  And I said to me, "Noooooo.  Of course we aren't going there.  That would be ridiculous.  You just started feeling like you again, so why would I inflict that on you after only a day of feeling like a human being again?  You're just paranoid."  And of course all the while, my sinister plan is going around and around in my head. . .

Then as we get close to my house, I suddenly pull into the left turn lane before the turn to our house.  And me starts going, "Heeeeeyyyyyy, wait a minute.  I think we've been here before. . ."  And I'm all thinking to myself.  Now just relax.  Play it loosey goosey.  Me will never suspect it.  Better to get there before me realizes what I'm doing.  So we make the final turn and me all of a sudden gasps.  And starts screaming.  "NO NO NO!!! Don't do this to us!!!  You are still sick!  I bet you get pneumonia if you drag us in there!  STOP!!!  HELP!  SOMEBODY HELP US!!!!!"

But no.  I didn't listen to me.  I got out of the car, grabbing my earplugs as I walked purposefully across the parking lot.  Me tried desperately to grab the door handle of the car, so me could hold on for dear life, but I turned my body and put my headphones and ipod on early so I wouldn't have to listen to me's screams anymore.

I walked up the steps and turned the ipod off.  Then the doors opened and me almost fainted.  Because we were at -

THE GYM.

Oh yes, my friends.  WE - I and me - desperately needed this.  We have not exercised for over a month now because of this stupid illness.  And don't forget.  Christmas was in this mix.  It was all cookies, and cakes and drinks (oh my).  And even though I felt bad, and the decongestants helped with not feeling super hungry, it didn't apparently slow it down quite enough.  Uh-uh.  So as I continued in the gym and over to the elliptical machines, me started weeping.  It knew I was going to punish us.  I kept telling me that I was going to take it easy.  Me, still weeping, said, "Oh please don't do this to us.  You thought we were sore while you were feverish and all achy.  Don't you know what this is going to do to all our muscles?"  I said, "Yes.  And that's why we're here.  This is for your own good.  Haven't you looked at your chubby face?  The ROLLS on your belly?  We may never recover from this.  NOW GET ON THE MACHINE BEFORE I HAVE TO KICK OUR ASS."

And so I and me did.  And although I hacked and coughed and wheezed the whole way through 30 whole minutes, I and me did it.  Me cursed at me the entire time, so I turned the volume up on the ipod.  It was easier to ignore the shrieks that way.  I never knew that me could be so persistent.  And annoying.

I would have loved to have worked us out for an entire hour, but when I and me stopped the elliptical, we almost fainted.  So enough for one day.  Me is now telling me "I told you so."  And me is kind of right.  We are already feeling a little sore.  But me doesn't know that I plan on taking myself and me to the gym again.  If not over the weekend, definitely on Monday.  So shhhhhhhhhhh.

That is unless the hacking and coughing continue to get bad.  Or if the fever comes back.  Because I suppose I could have set all that off again by possibly going to the gym just a weeeeee bit too soon.  But I couldn't take it anymore.  So wish I and me luck that we stay healthy.  Because we both plan on wearing bathing suits this summer.

My Three Wishes of the Day

Yep.  Three wishes.  I would like to have three wishes granted to me today.  Would you like to know what they are?  No.  Because then they won't come true.


OK, I'll share them with you.  Boy my self-control is really not good, is it?  How long was that pause, like three seconds?  Not even?  Oh well. . .


These are in no particular order.  Other than numerical order.  But in no order of importance.  OK?


Wish #1


I wish I could be such a fabulous writer that I will one day get a book published.  It doesn't have to be today.  Next week would be fine.  You know.  I'm not in any hurry or anything.  I have come to realize that my first effort at novel writing was a flaming pile of crap.  And that kind of sucks.  Especially since I entered it in that contest!  I have a feeling a few of you might be saying, "Oh noooo, I am sure it's really good," and blah blah blah.  But I have to disagree.  I've seen it and read it again.  There are pieces parts that I still like, but the book as a whole now?  Not so much.  I like my second one better, but I even question that from time to time.  I hope one day, to be able to write a book that, even when I'm writing it, I just know it's good.  That I believe in it so much, that there is no way it could ever not be published.  I wonder if authors who have been successful feel that way about their books.  Or did they doubt themselves?  Or not themselves as much as did they doubt how good their work was? 

And don't get me wrong.  I am not saying I am doubting what I wrote and whether it's good or not.  I just know that it is not publishing material.  That said, do I think it was a waste of time?  Not at all.  I would think the more a person writes, the better they must get.  I hope that's the case anyway.  It makes me also want to take some writing classes.  But that is not one of my wishes today. . .

Wish #2

I wish I had some paints.  Not water colors.  No.  Maybe some oil paints.  I think they are more forgiving than acrylics.  And some canvases.  It would be nice.  I used to paint in middle and high school.  I wrote about it in another blog post --> (Creativity Rocks!)  And I find that the more I write, the more I miss the other creative outlets I used to have.  Both my parents are artists.  That was my dad's career - he was an artist for Reynolds Metals company.  And my mother, though she didn't really start painting until later in life, has always been a pretty creative lady.  And now she paints.  She's even sold a couple! 

I never felt I was a very good artist, but now I'd like to get back into it.  I don't know that I'd ever try and sell any or anything like that, but I'd still like to try it again.  I think that this blogging experiment has really opened up the creative juices in me.  And I realize how much I've missed them, and how much they are a part of me.  I like being creative.  And now I'd like to have a few paint brushes within my reach to dabble around with.  I dare say it would even help with my writing.  Maybe anyway.  Either way, I know I'd enjoy it.

I think I didn't enjoy it as much in school because #1, they always made you paint what "they" wanted you to paint.  It was never a free for all, as in, here's a canvas, do what you will with it.  And #2, I think also that I always wanted to get the perspective right, or the shades right etc.  Why do they have to be?  Now I'd just paint it to enjoy the experience of painting.  I can paint how I want to and not worry about a grade.  I can paint for me.  That's got to be so much more fun. . .

Wish #3

Are you wondering with baited breath what wish number three is?  I bet you think it will be something along the creative line again, don't you?  Like what?  I wish I could make some cute funky jewelry?  I wish I could have a weekend to knit or crochet on a beach somewhere? 

Nope.

It has nothing to do with creativity. (But making cute jewelry or knitting and crocheting on a beach for the weekend is a lovely idea.)

Remember how I told you all that I was sick right after Christmas?  As in December 26?  Well, today is January 25.  Guess what?  I'm still sick.  Booooo!  I can't believe it.  I've never been so sick for so long.  I ended up with a sinus infection right at New Year's, and went on antibiotics.  Then I kept thinking, "Surely this is going to end now."  And it didn't.  Instead it turned into feeling good for a few days, followed by a day or two of running a bit of a temperature.  And back and forth I went.  Until Sunday when I really felt pretty horrible.  I finally went back to the doctor's office yesterday.  I had to go get a chest x-ray and everything.  The good news?  It's not pneumonia.  The bad news?  It's not pneumonia yet.  If I don't get good bed rest for the first few days till my new antibiotics kick in, I'm gonna turn this pretty nasty case of bronchitis into pneumonia.  Like a magic trick.  But not a good one.

So I'm trying to be really good.  Of course, I totally cheated last night and went grocery shopping.  Jill, my friend and neighbor was so kind and brought us dinner last night.  But still after all the stuff going on yesterday, I was wiped out by the time Joshua went to bed.  So I am listening today and only cheating once to do one little load of laundry because Joshua is out of pants.  I am propped up on the sofa and using the laptop.  And as soon as I am done with this post, I am taking a nap.  My friend Christine is being so very lovely to me.  She picked Joshua up for school and is keeping him till three today and then is even bringing him home (Christine - thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou).  So see?  I have to rest or her kindness will be a total waste.

And that means wish number three is that I hurry up and get better.  Because I am totally over being ill.  It sucks. 

To cheer me up, post some comments and tell me what your three wishes for just today would be.  Make them good so that I laugh.  But not too hard, because I don't want to cough up a lung.  OK?  Thanks. Happy day to you all! 

I Love Witty Sarcastic Obnoxious Sayings

Do you all remember back in October when Jamey and I went to the Boars Head Inn in Charlottesville, VA?  And I had that whole day to myself?  I wish I had another one of those couple of days.  Sigh.

But that's not the point of this post.  The point of this post is that while I was there, I was toodling around Charlottesville, and I ended up in some little store.  I think it was the gift shop of Michie Tavern.  I had considered eating lunch there, but it cost, like, $500.  And though that figure is slightly exaggerated, I just really didn't think the money they wanted for me to eat there was worth it.  Even if the wait staff was dressed up in Colonial costumes. 

Oh shoot.  That's not the point either.  OK.  The real point is that while I was in the gift shop, I spotted some signs.  Signs that I found to be so amusing that I pulled out my phone and typed them all in there in a note.  I thought I might use the sayings in the book I am currently writing, but when I ran across the note in my phone the other day (because, of course, I forgot about it), I knew I probably wouldn't actually use them for my book after all.  So then I sat there and wondered what I would use them for, and I didn't come up with a really good answer until today, when a friend sent me a funny little email that reminded me again of my note.  And I thought, well, why not share them with you all?  Maybe give you a little laugh. 

So before I type these out, I just want to say that I hope I don't get in trouble for posting these.  I am not saying in any way, shape or form that I came up with them.  I think I made that pretty clear in my opening rambling paragraphs.  So if you want to sue me or something because I typed them on here, please don't.  For one thing, I have a little kid.  That alone should stop you.  I'd like to give you another really good reason, but frankly, I can't think of any.  So for my loyal readers, should you find one day that I suddenly stop posting, it's probably because I am in jail for some sort of copyright infringement.  I just hope I can serve whatever sentence is imposed on me without becoming somebody's bitch. . .

OK, so here they are (fingers crossed and praying for no jail time as I do this):

Dear God, for 2011, please make my bank account fat, and me thin.  Please don't mix the two up like you did last year.

How about a nice tall glass of Never Gonna Happen?

I don't make mistakes, I just date them.

I live in my own little world, but it's OK, they know me here.

Cancel my subscription, I don't want your issues.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Then, while I was thinking about this, I decided to do some Internet research.  You know.  For my book.  And I found some more.  I only took a couple, but there are a ton on the website.  Here they are:

Don't be humble.  You're not that great.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the rest of the world.

I like you.  People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

Sometimes I need what only you can give me.  Your absence. (one of my personal favorites. . .)

OK and so since I know where these came from, I'll put a link to the website:  Sarcastic Quotes.

This brings me to my final little bit about these awesome sayings.  First of all, if these are really old and you've heard them all before and now you're bored, I'm super sorry. (Not really.  I'm just trying to be polite.)  Second of all, and this is my final point:  WHY CAN'T I EVER COME UP WITH THESE SAYINGS WHEN I NEED THEM!?!?!?!?!  I can be sarcastic, but not like that.  It would be fun to pull out a zinger like that now and then wouldn't it?  Instead I come up with the tried and true. . .no response. 

I think I'm off to do some memorizing for future use.  Happy day everyone!

My Love/Hate Relationship With My Maiden Name

OK, so I must preface this post by saying:

First of all, I wrote this yesterday!  Aren't you proud of me?  I couldn't help it.  As you all know, I usually sit at the chair in front of the computer for a while waiting for inspiration to hit me.  And when it doesn't, I generally whack my own self upside the head and write something anyway.  But yesterday, and I don't remember exactly what it was that made me come up with this topic (Could be I hit myself a little harder than normal and caused some sort of temporary, or permanent, brain damage?), but once it took hold, I thought to myself that I better get on the computer while I had the chance.  I am glad this paragraph is done, because it is hard to talk about yesterday when it is actually today.  Confused?  Me too.  I gotta stop whacking myself so hard.

Second of all, I know it sounds harsh to say that I "hate" my maiden name.  So mom, if you are reading this (God, I hope she is, cos if she's not, how embarrassing would that be?), and if you think Daddy will disown me, or hate me, or generally be upset about this, then don't show it to him.  And with that statement, I am sure you are all thinking, "Well, couldn't he go and find it on the computer himself?"  And the answer to that question is,  hmmmm, how shall I put this?  The easy way or the hard way?  Well let's just say that if . . .nooo.  No.  He couldn't.  Let's stick with the easy way, shall we?

Anyway.  By now you are all probably wondering what my last name is.  I can't decide whether or not to tell you.  Because it is a unique last name.  And if I told you what it was, well then you could easily look my parents up.  And then you might mail my dad a copy of this post.  Or worse, you would blackmail me by threatening to mail a copy of this post to my dad.  So I think not on telling you.  Sorry.

My last name was unique because my dad's Czechoslovakian grandfather, when he was getting off the boat in New York, (I guess.  I think that he came in through Staten Island.) the story goes that they asked him what he would like his last name to be.  And he gave them our last name.  Which wasn't really his last name.  And how were they to know?  So that's the last name we ended up with.

It starts with a "Y".  And it was such an odd name that people would mispronounce it all the time.  I have childhood memories of the beginning of every school year when the teacher would get to my last name and inevitably she would always mispronounce it.  And I'd absolutely cringe.  Because I swear even at 7 or 8 or 9, kids were already mean, and some of them would snicker and laugh.

So I wanted to change my last name desperately.  To something like "Young".  You know, easy to spell, easy to pronounce?  And besides, remember those mean kids?  Well they'd figure out how to make mean rhymes out.  You know the ones.  And if you don't, I'll explain.  Occasionally, I'd get teased because my last name rhymed with something else that would be insulting to you if you were called it. (This brings back memories of a Seinfeld episode.  I don't remember exactly, but I think it had something to do with a girl's first name sounding like part of the female sex anatomy etc etc.  I was at least lucky enough not to have my last name rhyme with something like that.)

Then when I hit high school, the coolest thing happened to my sister.  When her class graduated, she was the last one in her class to graduate.  So she got the biggest cheer.  Not necessarily because she was the most popular, but she surely was the most popular person at that moment.  And I all I could hope for, for the next two years, was for Charles Z. to move away.  Or disappear. (I admit it.  I had thoughts.)  But he didn't.  So I didn't even get to relish in my last name when I graduated from high school.

When I met Jamey, and he finally asked me to marry him, I was totally excited.  Not because I was finally going to get to change my last name, though I can see why you would think that.  No, it was because I was finally going to move way up in the alphabet.  All the way from the "Y's" to the "D's".  It was one of my criteria in looking for a husband.  Oh, and I really did love him too.

No, by that time, I finally had kind of gotten used to my last name.  I guess I had gotten out of school and had sort of grown up.  The day I got married, I was actually a little sad to see my last name go.  Daddy was the only boy in his family.  He's the last of our "Y" name.  Once he and my mom are gone, our last name ceases to exist in our family tree.  But I can't think of two better people to wear that name proudly and make it a good name.

I Feel Like I'm In High School Again

So before I do anything else, I must post a recipe.  I will explain why I had to post it after I write out the recipe.  Here you go!

Mini Cheeseburger Salad with Yellow Mustard Vinaigrette (Recipe courtesy of Rachael Ray)

One package of ground beef (I always buy the leanest I can)
1/4 cup finely chopped onion (eyeball it)
1 T Worcestershire sauce (pronounced workestershire shauce)
2 t steak seasoning blend or some coarse salt and ground black pepper
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Any kind of cheese you like on your cheeseburgers (I usually use provolone cos it's not as fatty as cheddar)
3 large hearts romaine lettuce (I actually usually just use iceberg)
1 cup sliced pickles, drained - whatever variety you like on burgers
1 cup cherry or grape tomatoes

Dressing:

3 T yellow mustard
2 T apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 T finely chopped chives (optional)
2 T drained salad pimentos (optional)

Preheat a grill pan or a large nonstick skillet or griddle over medium high heat or heat up your outdoor grill

Combine the meat with the onion, Worcestershire sauce, and steak seasoning.  Form 2 inch meatballs then flatten them into patties.  Drizzle formed mini patties with extra-virgin olive oil to keep them from sticking.

Divide cheese into the number you need for the burgers.  Place patties on preheated cooking surface.  Cook the burgers for 3 minutes on each side and then add cheese to melt over patties.  Outside, close the grill to melt.  Inside, tent the cheeseburgers loosely with foil to melt.

Coarsely chop romaine and combine with pickles and tomatoes.

Whisk together the mustard and vinegar.  Stream in the olive oil.  Add the chives and pimentos of desired.  Stir to combine.

Place salad in bowl and then top it with 4 mini burgers.  Drizzle vinaigrette over top.

You may also add other burger toppings if you want.  Onions, crumbled up bacon, mushrooms, etc.  I usually just stick with the basic recipe in order to keep the calories/fat down.

*****

And there you have it.  That's the recipe.  Now, do you wonder why I posted it?  Well, it's because . . .one of my Twitter peeps and I were talking about what we were preparing for dinner last night.  Twitter you say?  Yes, I did say.

I have been blogging for a while now, and I thought it would be nice if I could get a few readers who maybe weren't my family and friends.  Not that I really expect to have a very successful blog or anything, but still.  It's fun to try and expand my readership, right?

So I reached out to one of my favorite fellow bloggers, The Creative Junkie.  I just love her blog, and you should check it out.  Particularly since her post today is titled We bought a new washer and dryer and that's why my boobs are crooked.  Got to be funny, right?  Right.  Anyway, this lady was super nice, and very helpful, and of course funny.  And as one of her suggestions, she told me to try and sign up for Twitter.

Now I was on Twitter once before, and it didn't go very well.  But it has nothing to do with what I am about to talk about.  It is not something I would prefer to share on here.  Or anywhere for that matter.  So I was a bit reluctant to get back on.  But I thought about it, and I thought, well why not. 

So I signed up.  And I talked to myself for the first week I was on there.  And my sister.  Because I had no idea what I was doing.  I almost gave up.

But then I asked my fellow blogger about it and all, and she gave me some pointers.  Now I talk to three or four people.  And that's nice.

But it's kind of hard.  You go on there, and you follow a bunch of people.  Mostly movie stars and stuff at first, because it is kind of difficult to actually find people you know on there unless you know what they "call" themselves.  (Can you tell I'm still a big-time Twitter newbie?)  I admit.   I am still struggling to figure out why people love Twitter so much.

I hope my Twitter followers will not automatically shut this blog down and unfollow me.  Cos it would be really lonely to go back from the 4 followers I have (that's not true, but I don't have many more than that!), back to me and my sister.  I hope they hear me out.

Right now, I feel like I'm back in high school.  And that's not a good feeling to have.  I feel like I'm walking down the hall and people aren't giving me a second look.  Which of course makes me wonder if a zit the size of Alaska has appeared on my face.  Or maybe I have a booger hanging out of my nose.  And I see these people all talking back and forth, and I'm catching snippets of their conversations, but I can't quite get in to be a part of the conversation.  I'm just thankful there's no gym class on Twitter, because I'd delete my membership lickety-split.  That is for sure.

So, for any of you Twitter peeps out there.  If you can clue me in on how Twitter works, it would be appreciated.  My sister keeps talking about "Twitter Etiquette".  What the heck is that?  How do I get some?  I don't have to have a million followers, or follow a million people.  Seriously.  I just honestly don't feel like I am getting my money's worth out of Twitter.  Oh wait.  I don't pay anything for Twitter.  Well, you know what I mean.  What am I not getting?

I will say that I do follow some very neat people.  One of them is @RVAfashionista.  I know that one day, she is going to show up unannounced at my house and perform her own version of "What Not to Wear" on me.  You watch.  I look forward to it though, because my birth control outfits have got to go.  She is also the one I wrote out the recipe for. . .

I also am following a few authors such as Rebecca Rasmussen, Michele Young-Stone, and Beth Hoffman.  They are very nice and we have had a few fun chats.  Especially Rebecca and me.  She knows I want to publish my book in a big way.  And she's very encouraging, and that's so nice. 

So as you can see, I do have some good things to say about Twitter.  It's not all bad.  Other than sometimes wondering if I smell bad, or if I have a post-it note stuck to my ass that says, "kick me".  Feeling like I'm in high school again is not a memory I wanted to relive all that much.  So I implore all my Twitter friends reading this to, once again, please offer up any tips you may have to help me enjoy my Twitter experience more. 

Happy day everyone!

I Just Need Me Some Inspiration! (A "Real" Post)

Oh my goodness.  I bet you all think I fell into a deep abyss, never to be heard from again, didn't you?  Abducted by aliens?  Or maybe you thought I was doing something as simple as working really super hard on my second book? 


Well I hate to inform you, but none of those are true.  I honestly just haven't been. . .inspired.  Inspired to write much of anything.  I could blame it on my illness, I guess.  I have been sick since Christmas.  I had a blinding headache that whole day.  Then I got a horrible head and chest cold the following day.  Went to the doctor and finally got some antibiotics on New Year's Day.  I'm still coughing and hacking and congested, but it's not as bad as it has been.  That said, I just haven't been able to sit down and write much of anything at all.


Well that's not exactly true.  I did write on my second book some.  I really like it.  But it's very slow going.  I don't know if that is a good sign or not.  Anyway, I just haven't been able to sit down and write all that much.  And that is sad to me and a little scary if you want to know the truth.


I do like writing.  Love it really.  But this is the first time that I haven't felt like doing it.  I didn't even want to open this up and start writing.  I was afraid nothing would come to me at all.  But I guess it sort of is.  I have thoughts all spinning up in my head.  Fears about writing.  Worries.  About writing.  Lots of things about writing. 


I want to always be inspired to write.  It is really cool (even if I never get a thing published, or if I do get published and all I ever write is chick lit and nothing really deep or meaningful or serious) when I write, because I transport myself to somewhere else.  Somewhere where I don't feel like I'm anything but - me.  I don't want to lose that.  Will I lose it if I ever stop writing?  Or will I find myself somewhere else?  Dear me, I surely hope so.


I have to say the sickness part has really gotten me down.  I've never felt so puny for so long.  I am finally feeling more human today, so maybe that is what it is.  I surely hope so.


Today Joshua's preschool is closed.  I'm letting Joshua play on his own for a little while this morning.  So I think after I finish this, I'll try to go and write on my book a little.  Even if I just get a few pages done, you know?


Can I tell you a secret about my book writing?  I like pretending while I am writing that I am the main character.  Especially this main character.  Because I think she's cute and funny and witty and weighs about 20 pounds less than I do.  And she's got long hair that looks lovely all the time.  So even though writing makes me feel like me. . .I also get to pretend to be someone else.  You know.  Kind of like acting, but not.  Does that make sense?  Probably not.  And I can't blame it on decongestants anymore.  I wonder if other writers out there do that when they write?  Or are they looking at it from an "outside to inside" perspective?


So wish me luck.  I apologize for this not being a more entertaining post.  But it's a real post.

I Love Me Some Junk

Sooooo, yesterday, my mom came over and she went with me to drop my boy off at preschool.  And as a side note, I think he was quite unhappy that MiMi and Mommy were going off to "do stuff" together without him.  And his cuteness must've been temporarily less cute, because, frankly, I wasn't the least bit upset that he was missing out.  This was probably because I already knew where we were headed.  I was practically salivating to get there as we left him to sulk his way into his classroom. . .

Do you think we were going somewhere to eat?  Nope.  Starbucks maybe?  Well actually, that one did cross my mind, but nope, wrong again.  Instead we went to -

GardenRidge.

Awwwwwweeeeeeeeessssssooooommmmmeeeeeee.  Love it!  If you don't know what GardenRidge is, you are totally missing out.  It's like the Walmart of home decor.  Seriously.  For instance, you walk in the door of the store, and one of the first things we see are Christmas trees.  That look really nice.  Seven foot pre-lit Christmas trees for $59.99.  And then 75% off.  Can't beat it, right?  And I need a new Christmas tree in a really big way, remember?  However there is one small problem with the trees. 

A lovely sign.  That explains that the trees are on major sale because the lights have some problems staying lit.  I still almost got one.  I mean, a seven foot tree for $15??????  (Maybe I should go back and get one.  I didn't actually do the math yesterday.)

So that's just one example of the silliness of the deals at GardenRidge.  They have rugs.  They have chairs.  They have furniture.  They have artificial plants, picture frames, mirrors, candles, men's and women's scrubs (huh? But they really do. . .), pillows, bedding.  They have everything except a rent-to-own handyman.  And I bet by next week they have one of those too.

They even have suits of armour.  Which made me laugh, because there's a sticker on it that says it has sharp edges and should not be considered a toy.  So funny.  I told my mom I would get one for her if she wanted it.  Then she asked if she could have both of them (because of course they had them in gold and silver), because she wanted one for at the front door and one for at the back door.  I told her of course she could have both.  They were only $100 each.  And who doesn't need a good suit of armour for their home?  They are obviously antiques.  You can't reproduce something like that, right?

Personally, I think it would be fabulous to buy one of those suits of armour and take it to a show like Antiques Roadshow or Pawnstars.  And be all like, "You'll never guess, where I found this.  And for only $100!!!!"  And then be totally crestfallen when they look at me like I'm crazy and tell me it's not an antique.  I'd be a YouTube sensation.  I'd be - viral.  How awesome.  I know without a doubt I could pull that off.  Might have to look into that.  But I digress. . .

Anyway, the whole point of this post is to say that I love every single bit of that GardenRidge junk.  The kitchen area alone sent my heart into palpitations.  They have a mug stand that comes with four mugs for only $9.99.  I wanted one of those when we lived in our house on Logan Street and I had a little coffee bar upstairs in our bedroom.  It would have been perfect.  I don't have a coffee bar now, but I still totally want one.

They have all those gadgets you see on TV too.  A neck exerciser, a butt enhancer (think J-lo ass), an upside down tomato plant grower, and more!  I want all that stuff.  It's a good thing I don't watch TV all that much when infomercials are on.  We'd be bankrupt for sure. 

They have stands and stands of books.  All different kinds.  Some actually looked good.  And they were all on sale for about $4 a piece.  Who knows, one day it is possible I might would need a book about Birds of Connecticut.  Or about Solving Your Personal Plumbing Issues (I was afraid to open that book).  And yes.  I meant to type "I might would."  Don't other people say that?

I thought about buying a rug for Quincy.  Right now he's been relegated to sleeping on the cold tile floor of our kitchen.  But before you judge me, it was because, and I don't think I've mentioned this, he chewed a lovely hole in my beautiful oriental rug that he had been sleeping on.  So I don't feel at all bad he's been sleeping on the floor.  And GardenRidge had rugs for like $100.  They are kind of ugly.  But not expensive like an oriental rug.  I'm still bitter about the rug.  It happened about two months ago or something.  Anyway, then I thought, I'd still be pissed if Quincy chewed a hole in a $100 rug too.  So the cold tile floor it is.  Again - Don't.  Judge.  Me.

The best part was that the Christmas stuff was all 75% off.  I got four rolls of heavy duty wrapping paper for .75 a piece.  And the very best score?  A Miffy and Friends Christmas video.  Joshua loves Miffy.  And it was $1.50.  He's watched it since it came home.  Luckily, I can stay in the kitchen, so I don't hear it as much.  But I do have to put up with dog slobber. 

So, if you like some junk, like I like some junk, you totally have to go to GardenRidge.  Mom and I spent all morning there.  I didn't want to leave.  I still think I need to go back and get that suit of armour in case Antiques Roadshow ever comes here.  I just know that's my ticket to fame and fortune. . .

Happy day everyone!