I Love Me Some Junk

Sooooo, yesterday, my mom came over and she went with me to drop my boy off at preschool.  And as a side note, I think he was quite unhappy that MiMi and Mommy were going off to "do stuff" together without him.  And his cuteness must've been temporarily less cute, because, frankly, I wasn't the least bit upset that he was missing out.  This was probably because I already knew where we were headed.  I was practically salivating to get there as we left him to sulk his way into his classroom. . .

Do you think we were going somewhere to eat?  Nope.  Starbucks maybe?  Well actually, that one did cross my mind, but nope, wrong again.  Instead we went to -

GardenRidge.

Awwwwwweeeeeeeeessssssooooommmmmeeeeeee.  Love it!  If you don't know what GardenRidge is, you are totally missing out.  It's like the Walmart of home decor.  Seriously.  For instance, you walk in the door of the store, and one of the first things we see are Christmas trees.  That look really nice.  Seven foot pre-lit Christmas trees for $59.99.  And then 75% off.  Can't beat it, right?  And I need a new Christmas tree in a really big way, remember?  However there is one small problem with the trees. 

A lovely sign.  That explains that the trees are on major sale because the lights have some problems staying lit.  I still almost got one.  I mean, a seven foot tree for $15??????  (Maybe I should go back and get one.  I didn't actually do the math yesterday.)

So that's just one example of the silliness of the deals at GardenRidge.  They have rugs.  They have chairs.  They have furniture.  They have artificial plants, picture frames, mirrors, candles, men's and women's scrubs (huh? But they really do. . .), pillows, bedding.  They have everything except a rent-to-own handyman.  And I bet by next week they have one of those too.

They even have suits of armour.  Which made me laugh, because there's a sticker on it that says it has sharp edges and should not be considered a toy.  So funny.  I told my mom I would get one for her if she wanted it.  Then she asked if she could have both of them (because of course they had them in gold and silver), because she wanted one for at the front door and one for at the back door.  I told her of course she could have both.  They were only $100 each.  And who doesn't need a good suit of armour for their home?  They are obviously antiques.  You can't reproduce something like that, right?

Personally, I think it would be fabulous to buy one of those suits of armour and take it to a show like Antiques Roadshow or Pawnstars.  And be all like, "You'll never guess, where I found this.  And for only $100!!!!"  And then be totally crestfallen when they look at me like I'm crazy and tell me it's not an antique.  I'd be a YouTube sensation.  I'd be - viral.  How awesome.  I know without a doubt I could pull that off.  Might have to look into that.  But I digress. . .

Anyway, the whole point of this post is to say that I love every single bit of that GardenRidge junk.  The kitchen area alone sent my heart into palpitations.  They have a mug stand that comes with four mugs for only $9.99.  I wanted one of those when we lived in our house on Logan Street and I had a little coffee bar upstairs in our bedroom.  It would have been perfect.  I don't have a coffee bar now, but I still totally want one.

They have all those gadgets you see on TV too.  A neck exerciser, a butt enhancer (think J-lo ass), an upside down tomato plant grower, and more!  I want all that stuff.  It's a good thing I don't watch TV all that much when infomercials are on.  We'd be bankrupt for sure. 

They have stands and stands of books.  All different kinds.  Some actually looked good.  And they were all on sale for about $4 a piece.  Who knows, one day it is possible I might would need a book about Birds of Connecticut.  Or about Solving Your Personal Plumbing Issues (I was afraid to open that book).  And yes.  I meant to type "I might would."  Don't other people say that?

I thought about buying a rug for Quincy.  Right now he's been relegated to sleeping on the cold tile floor of our kitchen.  But before you judge me, it was because, and I don't think I've mentioned this, he chewed a lovely hole in my beautiful oriental rug that he had been sleeping on.  So I don't feel at all bad he's been sleeping on the floor.  And GardenRidge had rugs for like $100.  They are kind of ugly.  But not expensive like an oriental rug.  I'm still bitter about the rug.  It happened about two months ago or something.  Anyway, then I thought, I'd still be pissed if Quincy chewed a hole in a $100 rug too.  So the cold tile floor it is.  Again - Don't.  Judge.  Me.

The best part was that the Christmas stuff was all 75% off.  I got four rolls of heavy duty wrapping paper for .75 a piece.  And the very best score?  A Miffy and Friends Christmas video.  Joshua loves Miffy.  And it was $1.50.  He's watched it since it came home.  Luckily, I can stay in the kitchen, so I don't hear it as much.  But I do have to put up with dog slobber. 

So, if you like some junk, like I like some junk, you totally have to go to GardenRidge.  Mom and I spent all morning there.  I didn't want to leave.  I still think I need to go back and get that suit of armour in case Antiques Roadshow ever comes here.  I just know that's my ticket to fame and fortune. . .

Happy day everyone!