Monday, January 31, 2011

I'm Going to be FREAKING RICH!!! Let My Endorsement Deals - BEGIN!!!!!!

I just knew someone would see my talent for what it is.  I got this really fabulous email yesterday.


Subject: Question for Models and Super Models

Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2011 19:00:07 -0600


I was doing a search for people who are Models and Super Models on Yahoo and I came across your information. I would like to know if you would be interested in an opportunity to endorse a New Revolutionary skin care product that's looking for models and beauty consultants to try out the product.

It's a very lucrative business opportunity and the actual product is giving ppl instant results. For info on the product, opportunity and to try free samples respond to this email to receive more info on this opportunity!

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from u!

Add me on

I know, totally exciting, right?  First of all, please take notice of the Subject Line. (I'll wait while you ooh and ahh, and nod your head knowingly about me and this statement obviously going hand in hand.) K.  And second of all, I was super duper excited because it is my first offer to try out and endorse a product!  WOOT! WOOT!

So of course, I had to write them back.  This was my response. . .


That'd be totally awesome! I am practically a super model, so I am used to free stuff.

Thanks for looking me up.


Yessiree, they were totally going to hook me up.  Then I got this email:


Hi ,

Thanks for responding to my email. Here's the info about the product that
I wanted to share with u aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and watch the 30
min presentation about The Bellamora Opportunity, this will explain the
science behind the product and the unique story behind it aswell. I
would like ur feedback on it.

If u have any more questions feel free to contact me, I also would like
to share my story with u with the product

skype: bernard.


What?  Seriously?  I am busy and practically a super-model, aren't I?  Why do I have to watch 30 minutes of anything?  Don't they know I'm so very busy being all beautiful and everything?  But then I thought that maybe they might be wanting to show me my endorsement deal that way.  You know.  Visual.  Because I don't know how many super-models can actually read.  (Sorry super-models.  But you know what I just said was meant to be funny.  In jest.  Maybe.)  So I watched it just long enough to know that it, in fact, was not about my endorsement deal.  Instead, they were telling me that their company is a unique business opportunity for lots of those unemployed people (OK, and I'm unemployed.  But I'm busy being a mom.  So technically, that term doesn't apply to me.)  I am pretty sure it was their way of reassuring me that they are working to get the word out about their stuff, and that I would be getting bigger endorsement deals with them in the future just as soon as their products start selling world-wide, like freaking gangbusters!  So I responded with this, to let them know that I really am totally on board with being their spokesperson.


Wow, that's a really powerful presentation. I am glad that there are going to be lots of people out there getting jobs and spreading the word about Bellamora. Super cool.

But since you think I'm, like, supermodel material and all, I am sure I'd be a great spokesperson for the product. Will I get like endorsement dollars by representing your stuff? Obviously, I'm not an A list celebrity or anything, so my terms are negotiable. My first figure that kind of popped in my head was $1,000 a month. In one dollar bills. (I like cash.)

And do I get a welcome basket with expensive designer sunglasses and bags and iphones/ipads and stuff? You know, because all the celebrities get those baskets at awards ceremonies and stuff. So I figure that I should be wooed to represent your company and everything just like they are.

Let me know what kinds of stuff you'll include in my welcome basket, and then we can set the terms of what you want me to do. I wish I could say that your peeps can call my peeps, but the only peeps I have are my husband and my son. And I want to surprise my husband with my new endorsement deal, and I don't think my son would be a good negotiator, because he's still in preschool. So just have your peeps contact me. Unless you want to throw in a peep for me as part of the deal? You know, like a personal assistant? Let me know what you think of that. K? Thx.


I cannot wait to hear their response.  I'm sure it's coming any minute.  I'll let you know as soon as I get my first endorsement cash from my blog.  (You know, $1,000 in one dollar bills.  Because I like cash.  Although that amount might be more if they think I'm worth it.  I mean, I am practically a supermodel.)  Aren't you excited for me?

In other news, tomorrow's post will be about how my family used to like to make telemarketers lives a living hell.  But we, on the other hand, would love every minute of those calls.  (No.  I'm really serious.  That's what I'm writing about tomorrow.)  And do you all remember telemarketers?  I kind of miss those days.  You'll see why tomorrow.  ;)


Your Supermodel Blogging Princess Friend 

Happy Day!

PS - I just came back and got all OCD because my first two asterisk breaks only had six asterisks and the rest had seven and I had to fix it.  You don't think they'll hold that against me do you?  I mean if anything, it should show I am dedicated to like, asterisks.

Update - 3:29pm

I heard back from them!  So excited to share with you -  of course, they want to negotiate.  So here's what they said:


Carolyn, u gotta be kidding me! I've brought in Models and Beauticians in
this business that are very excited about the product and opportunity and
will build huge teams in their respective areas and your taking this
opportunity as a joke.

The way it works is if you're interested in the opportunity then u would
join and become a Bellamora Rep and u will make a lot more than just $1000
a month and it won't take that many ppl to make over $1000 a month that u
were asking for to begin with.

Let me know if you're serious about this opportunity, u obviously liked
the presentation and this is a ground floor opportunity that u would wanna
take advantage of !


And here's what I said:


No no no. I am totally taking this seriously! You said you wanted me to endorse your products, and I am so up for that! In fact, I can't wait to get started! So if my $1000 is too much as a starting monthly endorsement amount, I'm totally and absolutely willing to negotiate. How about $800? Still in one dollar bills though, because don't forget - I like cash.

And I was going to try to negotiate an iPad for my friend who wanted to be my official photographer, but I can drop that as part of the deal. I have other people who are wanting to be included in my peeps and I don't think I have to get them iPads for that to happen. But I still want one in my welcome basket. K?

So just let me know. Can't wait to hear from you!!!!



Good response, right?  Notice I only went down $200 a month.  I don't want to let them know that my rock bottom price is $10 a month.  But either way, I still want it in one dollar bills.  Because I like cash.  And because I am a diva bitch who won't budge on that point.  I'm such a negotiator.  I'm glad that they wrote back.  I was afraid I might have given them sticker shock with my first offer.  But you have to set your sights high, right?  I can't wait to finish negotiations so I can start this endorsement deal up. . .

Update 4:08

OH crap.  So they saw my blog.  I don't know if it was before or after I shared with you my bottom line.  This could put a huge damper on negotiations.  Here's what they said:


Carolyn, why did u post my email on your blog site and on your fan page??
It's not that serious! Give me a call when u get a chance


So of course I said:


Because I was so totally excited about this opportunity! Really! I can't wait to get started! What do you mean it's not that serious? I'm totally serious!


And then they said this.  And this perplexed me just a bit:


Ok, if you're serious give me a call and we'll c how serious u are


See?  I mean, I don't see how they don't think I'm serious.  Who wouldn't want to get paid to endorse someone's product?  So I immediately wrote back.  Because I don't want to lose my first endorsement deal:


I don't like to do business over the phone. Number 1: I have a huge phobia about phones. You know.

Number 2: Writing is my thing. Which is why you want me to endorse your stuff, right?

Awesome. So let me know when you want to get back to negotiating!


And then their next response really confused me:


Well ok, not a problem. If u want to get involved in the opportunity u
know what to do ..... Invest.

If u have any questions, feel free to ask. No silly questions please!
Thank You


WHAT?  Invest?  Since when do you have to invest in order to endorse a product?  I'm so confused, right?  Aren't you?  So this is what I said:


I don't understand? You aren't going to have me endorse your products? No welcome basket?


I'll let you know when I hear back.

Update 4:23pm

Well.  I heard back.  This is what they said:


Endorse as in promote the product but in order to promote the product u
have to invest in the business and be a product of the product. If u can
not do that well then sorry i can not help u.


And I said:


Oh.  Now I'm bummed.  Thanks for considering me though.


So I guess it's over.  I'm so bummed.  It's like that sports commercial.  The thrill of victory.  And the agony of defeat.  Plus I should have told them the door is open if they ever want to reconsider.  Dang.  I'll get better at this negotiating thing though.  This certainly won't be the last time I get an endorsement offer.  Right?  I'm gonna go stuff my face with oreos now, since I don't have to worry about my head shot photograph today.


  1. Too funny. Please come live near me and make me laugh over coffee . . .

  2. So...this person must be like, hip to the chic?....Cause "ur" going to loooove what they're going to offer you like whoa! Who needs to spell when you're fabulous! (said all high pitched and drawn out: faaabulooouss!)!

    Also: if you do get all supermodely famous, can I be your sidekick? You know, the one who is always clingy and gets to go to all if the amazing places sans work? That'd be *swell*

  3. Jessica, I am currently accepting resumes for anyone who wants to be one of my peeps. Please do note: I'm going to be a complete diva bitch. Thx.


  4. That's my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. You should have asked to be paid in chupacabra feet. That's how they knew you weren't a professional.

  6. Dammit! I thought I was *so* close too! Thx for the heads up, your Bloggess! (bowing and hitting ass on doorframe as I back out of the room)

    (PS - if you don't know who the Bloggess is, she is the best blogger. Ever. And I'm *thrilled* that she read my post!)


Wanna say something? Cool. But I reserve the right to make fun of you if I want to.