Of course, that's the story of my life. . .
As you all well know by now, I've been quite sick. Like borderline pneumonia sick. I ended up with a pretty good case of bronchitis and stuff. So I have done almost nothing in a month. I finally went to the doctor on Monday and got some new antibiotics. She told me if I rested well for a couple of days to give the antibiotics a chance to kick in, I would probably feel like a new woman by the end of the week. I gratefully took the prescription to the nearest pharmacy to fill it, because, let's face it, I was totally over being sick at this point. I mean, a girl can only enjoy a nightly dose of NyQuil for so long, right? (speaking of, don't ever buy original flavor NyQuil, unless you want to add to your sicky symptoms. It's liquorice flavor and totally gross. Just sayin'.)
And I am happy to report that the doctor was correct! By Thursday morning, I felt like a whole new person! Well, a whole new person who still had a naggy cough. But still, the foggy, feverish haze had finally departed my body. I did a little housework to try and play catch up, and by yesterday evening I was worn plumb out. And then today, I got up and I had a plan. I had to not tell the rest of me what I was up to. I didn't want to give me a chance to back out of my plan. So I acted like everything was just fine and that it was another day of the same as I bundled Joshua up and drove him to preschool. Me started realizing something was up though as I put on my clothes. But I told me that I was just dressing comfortably, and to ignore what I was wearing.
After I dropped Joshua off at school, me started suspecting what I was up to for sure. Because I looked down in my console to make sure I had my headphones. And me was starting to remember hazy, distant memories of when I used to use those headphones. And me started saying, "No. It can't be. She wouldn't be going there, would she?" And I said to me, "Noooooo. Of course we aren't going there. That would be ridiculous. You just started feeling like you again, so why would I inflict that on you after only a day of feeling like a human being again? You're just paranoid." And of course all the while, my sinister plan is going around and around in my head. . .
Then as we get close to my house, I suddenly pull into the left turn lane before the turn to our house. And me starts going, "Heeeeeyyyyyy, wait a minute. I think we've been here before. . ." And I'm all thinking to myself. Now just relax. Play it loosey goosey. Me will never suspect it. Better to get there before me realizes what I'm doing. So we make the final turn and me all of a sudden gasps. And starts screaming. "NO NO NO!!! Don't do this to us!!! You are still sick! I bet you get pneumonia if you drag us in there! STOP!!! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP US!!!!!"
But no. I didn't listen to me. I got out of the car, grabbing my earplugs as I walked purposefully across the parking lot. Me tried desperately to grab the door handle of the car, so me could hold on for dear life, but I turned my body and put my headphones and ipod on early so I wouldn't have to listen to me's screams anymore.
I walked up the steps and turned the ipod off. Then the doors opened and me almost fainted. Because we were at -
Oh yes, my friends. WE - I and me - desperately needed this. We have not exercised for over a month now because of this stupid illness. And don't forget. Christmas was in this mix. It was all cookies, and cakes and drinks (oh my). And even though I felt bad, and the decongestants helped with not feeling super hungry, it didn't apparently slow it down quite enough. Uh-uh. So as I continued in the gym and over to the elliptical machines, me started weeping. It knew I was going to punish us. I kept telling me that I was going to take it easy. Me, still weeping, said, "Oh please don't do this to us. You thought we were sore while you were feverish and all achy. Don't you know what this is going to do to all our muscles?" I said, "Yes. And that's why we're here. This is for your own good. Haven't you looked at your chubby face? The ROLLS on your belly? We may never recover from this. NOW GET ON THE MACHINE BEFORE I HAVE TO KICK OUR ASS."
And so I and me did. And although I hacked and coughed and wheezed the whole way through 30 whole minutes, I and me did it. Me cursed at me the entire time, so I turned the volume up on the ipod. It was easier to ignore the shrieks that way. I never knew that me could be so persistent. And annoying.
I would have loved to have worked us out for an entire hour, but when I and me stopped the elliptical, we almost fainted. So enough for one day. Me is now telling me "I told you so." And me is kind of right. We are already feeling a little sore. But me doesn't know that I plan on taking myself and me to the gym again. If not over the weekend, definitely on Monday. So shhhhhhhhhhh.
That is unless the hacking and coughing continue to get bad. Or if the fever comes back. Because I suppose I could have set all that off again by possibly going to the gym just a weeeeee bit too soon. But I couldn't take it anymore. So wish I and me luck that we stay healthy. Because we both plan on wearing bathing suits this summer.