Thursday, October 20, 2011

I Have NO WillPower. Please Help Me!

So if you remember, I have been training for a marathon, right?  Training has gone really well, and I'm on the cusp of my last super long run before the actual race.  It's a 20 miler on Saturday.
In light of training for a marathon, I decided it was also time to shed a few pounds.  I'd gotten away with eating what I wanted for a long time without worrying about it, but when we got back from Disney World and I looked at the pictures of myself, I just thought. . .well, frankly I just thought.  EW.  That's gross.  And doughy looking. 

So I started watching what I ate and stuff and I'm excited because I have managed to lose a bit of weight.  Cool, right?  It is really cool.  I've been feeling much better.

And then, with one little Facebook post, my entire world changed.  And I'm in danger.  SERIOUS danger.

Because of THESE:


I first heard of them last year.  However, I thought they were a myth.  I never saw them in the grocery store.  So I figured I had heard wrong, and went about my happy life. 

Then this year, I heard about them again.  From a post on Facebook.  Surely that was still just a myth, right?  A fable?  And all of a sudden, I was scared.  I had to go to the grocery store the very next day.  So I said a little prayer to God asking him to not have them in my store.  And bless me he did, for when I went the next day, they were not there!  I was SAVED!  And I said as much on Facebook.

And then my "friend", Jana, had to go and tell me that if I had, in fact, TURNED AROUND and looked across from where the regular poptart selection is, they had a WHOLE SECTION DEDICATED TO LIMITED EDITION HOLIDAY POPTARTS.

OH.  MY.  GOD.

It is unfair.

I tried to resist.  I didn't go back to the store.

Until today.  And I had to do it.  I couldn't help it.  I walked down the aisle where the poptarts were, and I swear I tried to avoid making eye contact.  I really did.  I looked to my left the whole time where the regular poptarts resided.  But then it happened.  I turned to my right.  AND THERE THEY WERE. 

I tried to justify it, and say they were for my little boy.  But I am not fooling anyone.  And now they are at home.  And we are locked in a brutal, take no prisoner style staring contest.  Me and the Poptart box.  And I think I'm losing.


I swear I don't know how the box got open.  I think maybe Quincy developed opposable thumbs while I wasn't looking.  And somehow, a package of the poptarts fell out onto the table.  And now they are playing the staring game with me. . .

Uh oh.  Losing again.

Oh gosh.  Did that bag just open by itself?  I think the box of poptarts is haunted.

I'm just going to smell one.

Yep.  Smells good.  Had to bite my lip to try not to take a bite.

No.  I'm not going to do this.

See?  I'm keeping my lips shut tight!  NO WAY.  I'M NOT CAVING.

OK.  Maybe a teeeeeeeny bite. 

See how little a bite that is?

Setting it down.  Let the staredown begin again.  I'm TOTALLY going to win this.

Sigh.  It won. 

Happy Doughy Day, Folks!

PS - In case you were wondering, from the moment the box came into the house to that last picture was a duration of 37.2 seconds.  Yup.  37.2 seconds. . .

PPS - In order to protect the guilty innocent, I will not be posting a picture of how many packages are left in the poptart box after 37.2 seconds.

1 comment:

Wanna say something? Cool. But I reserve the right to make fun of you if I want to.