So last night, as you know, we went to the Richmond Braves game. I am happy to report that, in fact, there are flying squirrels in the State of Virginia. I am unhappy to report that we lost the game. I think it was 5-0. Bummer.
I didn't notice though because I was too busy chatting and complaining that they didn't have chipwiches. I mean, what ball field does not provide chipwhiches? Instead they have ice cream in little plastic ball hats. Don't they get that's too messy? I saw bunches of people with ice cream melting all over the little hats. Chipwiches are much neater as the ice cream is sandwiched between two chocolate chip cookies. And they are so tasty that you eat them very fast and then you don't have time to get messy. Plus you eat more. They could probably keep the team afloat with no sponsors/advertisers at all if they sold chipwiches. I'm just sayin'.
Plus I had a deal with Jamey that I wouldn't talk about Cal Ripkin and his perfect attendance award (i.e. I wouldn't talk about baseball like I knew what I was talking about, when in fact, I don't. Otherwise I would've known it was "Most Games Played". Big deal.) and I wouldn't scream at the players to "kick 'em in the jimmy" (i.e. We were not at a hockey game and plus it wouldn't look good in front of the clients that Jamey and his partner, Hal, were trying to entertain.) If I wouldn't have done these two things, I was supposed to get a chipwich.
I looked Jamey right in the face and told him all deals were off when I found out they didn't have chipwiches. Then Jamey has to ruin my fun and point out that we were sitting in the lower level at third base and that there was no glass separating us from the players like there is in hockey. So I sat and sulked for a while. But when other people booed bad calls, I promptly stopped chatting and started booing with everybody else. Loudly.
Jamey tried to make it up to me. I told him at one point to go get me something good. He came back with - funnel cake. Not really what I had in mind. So I booed even louder at the next bad call.
And I just want to complain about something else this morning. So here we are sitting on the lower level at third base when Jamey announces that if there are left handed hitters we may have baseballs coming our way. Now Jamey knows I can't catch worth a hoot. One time he even warned me he was going to throw a raw egg to me to catch (in my mom's kitchen even) and I told him I wasn't going to catch it. I mean I told him and everything. And I didn't. I didn't even try because I know how bad a catcher I am. And so it splatted all over the floor. (My mom still blames Jamey for that - HA!) Anyway, so the first left handed batter comes up (there were a lot if them) and I hold up my program and some magazine they handed out to shield me from harm, and one of Jamey's clients looks at me and says, "That's not gonna do anything."
So I have to wonder why Jamey would pick those seats. There was a spot behind where they were batting with a net and everything. We could have sat there and then I would have been protected from foul balls and I could've yelled "kick 'em in the jimmy" cos the net would have protected me from the angry players I was yelling at. Sheesh.
And so the whole reason for my ugh comment is because then we came home and watched the Tour de France stage cos it was a good one. I kept trying to sneak peeks because one of the boxes had it on their tv. But I had to stop because I was getting a crick in my neck from trying to look. Plus I needed to at least look like I was watching the ball game since we were with clients. So I waited and we came home and watched the Tour and ate ice cream (finally!). And went to bed at 12:30. The stage yesterday was very frustrating. I think Alberto Contador is a royal jerk for riding away from Andy Schlek when he popped his chain. Yes, I am complaining because I am grouchy 1. Had to dodge multiple hits from left handed batters. 2. Couldn't yell kick 'em in the jimmy. 3. Crick in the neck from trying to slyly watch the Tour. 4. NO CHIPWICHES. 5. Alberto the jerk. 6. 12:30am. So ugh it is today.