The Things I Think While I am Writing My Blog Posts (Wow that's a long title. . .)

I promised to let you all know what I did yesterday during my living blog time.  As I was blogging there was a movie on.  I don't remember what it was, but I watched it.  It had Heath Ledger in it.  And I drank coffee.  Then I got up and took my time getting ready to go.  That is a luxury, may I just say?  I had no interruptions at all.  Ahhhh.  I went to the hotel gift shop, which must cater to senior citizens for the most part.  And then I went to the apple orchard and picked a bunch of apples.  I also got one more donut.  After that I picked up a bit to eat and went back to the hotel where I ate and sat and read my book.  That was around 1pm.  I read from 1pm to almost 4pm.  Uninterrupted.  Except for the part where they served tea and sweets and I got up long enough to have a delicious cup of tea and a scrummy piece of cheesecake and a mini chocolate tart (I love the word scrummy.  OK, It's not really a word, but it should be).  I guess I technically wasn't supposed to have that since we had checked out by then, but I missed tea time the day before.  I was just making up for my lost opportunity.  So there.  It was a lovely, lovely day.

I laughed yesterday when I looked at my labels and how many posts are under the "me" label.  Since this blog is kind of all about me and what I want to say,  I guess I should probably take that one off.  And I know that sounds so snotty and like I am all wrapped up in myself, but I hope my friends can vouch for me that I am not normally so self-centered. 

OK, now that I've gotten all that out of the way, on to today's post. . .

Do you ever wonder how I decide on what to write every day?  Well I'll tell you.  Some days I know exactly what I want to write about.  And some days (like today) I sit at the computer just staring at it.  I'll sit hoping for something decent to write about and then it will hit me (that was yesterday, and I hope it's safe to say that yesterday's post was decent).  I even have a little list of "topics" to write about on my blackberry.  They are my back-up plans in case I can't think of anything else to write about.  Sounds silly, but I am always worried I won't find anything to say.  (You can stop laughing now.)

I always want my posts to be really super good.  But I guess anyone who is writing a blog wants all their posts to be really super good.  Some days are better than others though.  I can sometimes tell if a post is going to be really good or not when I first start writing it.  Do you wonder what I am thinking of this one so far?  Um, it's not good.  Oh dear.  I can't believe I just admitted that to you.  Wait - keep reading - hopefully it will get better.  If nothing else, I hope my side comments will keep you entertained. . .

I have very rarely ditched a post I started writing.  I guess I like to see whatever I'm writing about through to the end.  I think that's why I actually finished writing the book I started.  Once I started it, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop writing till it had a conclusion to it.  I feel the same way about reading books.  It is a rare occasion when I will not finish a book, even if it's a lousy one.  I still have to see how it ends (zzzzzzz, oh dear me, you all are falling asleep now aren't you?  Think of something cute and clever - quick!)

I bet you are all thinking I should have ditched this post.  But I can't.  I don't know why I am compelled to sit here and blather on about something that really is not going anywhere, but I just can't stop.  It's like a brain dump.  Sorry I am dumping it on you!  (Seriously, my four official followers, don't leave me.  I'll do a better post tomorrow, I promise!) 

So today I sit and know I didn't write an excellent post.  I sit and wonder if I should have gone to my "topics" note in my blackberry.  I have gone back and read over what I have written here several times this morning.  And then I stress out because I really want people to continue reading my blog.  I think about going through and deleting the whole thing and starting over.  But I can't do that either.   You know why?  You don't?  Shoot, I was hoping you would have the answer to that question.  Cos I don't know either.  I guess it has something to do with the time it takes to create the posts.  It's not that long, but it is still a chunk of time I have taken to create something.  And if I ditch it, then it's like admitting I wasted time there.  (Yes.  Very unhealthy of me that I can't let it go.  But don't worry, I have a very good therapist.)

I will do better tomorrow.  I have to go run now.  I don't want to, but I have to work off that cheesecake from yesterday.  Plus, since this was not a good post, you know tonight I'm totally going to have an extra scoop of ice cream.  I leave you today with this - and sorry, it's all I've got.  Ready?  Here goes - The sun will come out. . .tomorrow. . .bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow. . .there'll be sun  ;)